I won't ever know.
With that being said it's less than two weeks before Thanksgiving. I've been invited to my girlfriend's Thanksgiving dinner but it's also the same day as my sibling's birthday so I'm a bit conflicted. Should I go to this dinner where I know I'll be eating? Or spend a day with my sibling where I know I won't be eating as much (or maybe I will be, who knows).
Keeping that in mind I'll be more focused on restricting the next two weeks. Lately I've been skipping a lot of my meals with just drinking zero calorie sparkling drinks (they're plentiful and easy to be found). But I've also been additionally been in the "I have to be in recovery" mindset so I've also (on the days I'm not as focused) been eating a bit. But my weight isn't jumping up and down too much and I haven't gone above 100 at all since the last time I posted.
I am at a rather high weight though, close enough to be worried about. That's why for the next few weeks I'll be updating my measurements almost daily so I know for sure that once Thanksgiving is over, I can see if I gained weight (or not).
I just went shopping for food today and I got a few different zero calorie drinks, a Naked smoothie on days I need the extra calories, a (disgusting) packet of this Spanish rice, and 8 Jif peanut butter to-go cups. That's my meal plan for the next 7 days keeping in mind that my friends always make me eat lunch with them on Tuesdays but otherwise I'm set.
Honestly I think I do lose weight better when I'm not thinking on how many calories I'm limiting. But I'm also kind of in that recovery thinking stage where I'm thinking, I'm not gaining or losing weight, isn't this okay? type of thinking. But I don't want to go above 100 so I'm taking these extra precautionary steps just in case.
While reading Runner's World magazine I came across this neat chart of typical Thanksgiving foods and their calories/miles needed to run off calories. I also found a running group that I'll start joining soon to keep up with my exercise plans.
I guess a question that some of you all may be thinking, am I in recovery or am I not? I don't know the answer to the question myself. I feel like I'm killing myself by eating so much lately when I do eat but I don't want to kill myself by not eating either. I'm kind of stuck in limbo right now and I'm not sure where to go.
Guess this is my first "sorta recovery" post on this thread. Interesting enough, aye?
Measurements for today:
- 99.6 lbs (after eating/drinking all day so that's a relief but still too close to call it safe yet)
- Waist: 23" (22.5" if I suck in)
- Arm: 22.4cm
- Wrist: 14.5cm
- Hips: 32"