30 April 2013


I failed at the ABC diet. Guess this shows I'm a failure.

I don't care though. I will get to under 100 my own way. Today I ate 1 greek yogurt (120 kcals), 1 clementine (35 kcals). I just need to eat 300-500 calories per day and I can do this then. People can eat three meals a day and still lose weight, so that means I can lose weight this way also. They upped my medication so I'm freaking out about gaining more weight than I already am right now.

I need to get diet pills to counteract the weight gaining pills. Any recommendations? Also joining a gym nearby where I live soon. It's a 24 hour gym so I can exercise whenever. No more excuses soon.

I'll post thinspo later.

24 April 2013

ABC Diet Day 5

Sorry I did not post yesterday. Yesterday I was 101.8. Why? Bloating. I'm holding in all the water that I have been drinking. [Expletive].

Today I'm 102 lbs. Shit. I need to stop drinking water, literally all of it is water. It's horrible being female. This diet isn't going to properly work until after this week. This is awful.

Today I can only eat 100 calories. I have to run today and go to work after. I'm very nervous on how I am going to do this. I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of gum chewing today.

I'll update this post later with how it goes.

22 April 2013

ABC Diet Day 3: 1 Banana

101.6 with water weight

I forgot to measure myself this morning so I just took my measurement. I drank an entire vitamin water today so I definitely know that part of my weight is from the water I drank. So excited for my weight tomorrow.

So with 101.6, I'm -.6 lbs down from yesterday, -1.6 lbs from Day 1, and -2.8 lbs down from the day prior to starting the diet. I'm on a roll here, nearly 3 lbs down now!

Today I have decided to only eat a banana, no waffles. I cut my banana into 16 pieces. I've only ate 3 pieces so far. I might eat some unbuttered popcorn later if my family is wondering if I already ate or not. But if I don't that means my calorie count is only at 105 kcals out of the 300 max.

I see my first goal in the horizon.

Pinterest Thinspo

So Pinterest is cracking down on thinspo and pro ana posts so I decided to put some pins up (25 of them if you really wanted to know).

Also, I had to eat dinner today but I took 2 laxative pills so I should be fine by tomorrow.

I do not own any of these images and if you are the owner of an image and wish it to be taken down, please let me know via e-mail.

Hip bones and her stomach is so flat!
10 lbs does make a difference. This picture is of the same girl after losing just 10 lbs. If I'm this fat now, I know I'll be thinner 10 lbs lighter.
Her stomach is amazing
Going to do this every day starting soon before summer!
How the [expletive] are her breasts so huge to her stomach proportions? I'm so jealous.
Waist and legs, her figure is amazing
I like her belly piercing!
Her waist and stomach look great!
Beach body right here
I know I will never have legs that thin in my life. I am so jealous.
Nice arms and waist
Stomach and hipbones
I remember back when my back used to look like this and my doctors were horrified when they felt my back during check ups. It was fun looking at their terrified faces.
Another beach body
She's so petite 
Gap between her legs
Waist and stomach are absolutely flawless
Toned stomach
Abs girl, she's got them!
Lot's of waist photos tonight.
There is just nothing wrong with this photo. I have no idea how.

Her entire body frame is petite. I am so jealous.
Someday I will look this good in my own underwear

21 April 2013

ABC Diet Day 2

102.2 lbs, 23.5"

I think deciding to go on this diet was the best choice I have made in a while. I am down -1.0 lbs from yesterday, -2.2 lbs from two days ago prior to starting. If I keep this up, I'll hit 100 in two days. I also know a lot of my current weight is water weight (yesterday at Longhorn's I drank 3 glasses of water, I drank an entire Vitamin Zero water, and half of a zero calorie sparkling water).

Today I was supposed to be eating 2 bananas and 1 avocado but I changed it to 2 avocados for a total of 500 calories. I mixed some ground cayenne into my avocados.
I hope to get back under 100 as soon as possible. It was ridiculous of me to be at 104.4 lbs. That is my current new HW, beating my HW from 3 years ago from the hospitals at 103.5 lbs.

I am currently editing my goal page so if you see some changes, you will see them soon. I have decided to instead of starting my goals at 90, shift them to 100 and begin from there. I also added new prizes for myself because of that.

This is making me excited, I wish I could show my excitement with all of you. I have never had to drop 10 lbs like this before so it's interesting seeing my fat self and then going back down to my regular self. I can't wait to go back to my regular self though, my new fat skin feels like it's crawling on me every day.

Also bought a new cute skirt yesterday. I need to lose 5-10 lbs to wear it like a normal person though. High waisted skirt? Can't be fat in one.

20 April 2013

Fashion Model Thinspo Version 2

Day was successful. Managed to stay within the 500 calorie limits and still took a laxative a few minutes ago. I will be thinner tomorrow no doubt about it.

Here is version 2 of some model thinspo that I found online. Enjoy.

I do not own any of these images and if you are the owner of an image and wish it to be taken down, please let me know via e-mail.

ABC Diet: Day 1

I'm already stuck on my diet.

Also, 103.2, I'm already going down. Took laxatives last night so that helped with everything I ate from the night before. My stomach is in so much pain though still.

I have to go to LongHorn Steakhouse today with my family. I'm not sure what to do. The fresh bread they give is 510 calories for an entire loaf, adding butter is an additional 100 calories. I have to avoid the bread at all costs.

I'm thinking of getting the Mixed Green side salad for 110 calories and the seasoned rice pilaf for 200 calories for a total of 310 calories, leaving me 190 calories for bread so my family doesn't think anything is weird. If I end up eating too much I'll just take laxatives again. I can't afford to not lose weight now.

Please let me stay within 500 calories today. I'll post thinspo later tonight.

19 April 2013

Life as a fat@$$

104.4 lbs.
I'm a fatass. I need to lose weight as soon as possible. I'm starting the ABC diet tomorrow so hopefully I'll drop fast. I'll post pictures from now on of my progress once I start. I need to see my current fat self in picture and always remind myself to never become like this again.

I'm planning my diet for the next week with the diet. Here is my diet:

Day 1:
1 Avocado, 2 Waffles
440 calories/500

Day 2:
2 Banana, 1 Avocado
460 calories/500

Day 3:
1 Banana, 2 Waffles
295 calories/300

Day 4:
2 Banana, 2 Waffles
400 calories/400

Day 5:
1 Waffle
95 calories/100

Day 6:
1 Waffle, 1 Banana
200 calories/200

Day 7:
1 Avocado
250 calories/300

There is absolutely no excuse for me to not lose weight now. I will be thin.

06 April 2013

Fucking medicine and fucking food

I am about ready to cut my arms into sliver of skin. 103.2 lbs and 23.5". This is not happening, this is not possible. I am literally .3 lbs from my HW. How did this happen?

Oh yeah. Fucking medicine. And fucking food. This medicine is making me eat. It's working even if I don't. Even if I don't eat I still somehow gain weight from nowhere. Wait, not nowhere, even I know where this is coming from. Muscle weight due to excess calories from all the food I've been eating, I've been able to create muscle mass in my arms, shoulders, back, and my legs. I am fucking disgusting.

I am half crazed with fever. I honestly do not know how I am typing this right now when I can barely walk. I am eating pizza right now as I type this, ready to purge it out once it's done. I have been purging nonstop these days and I STILL gain all this weight.

I am working out a lot lately. Here's my routine if any of you actually care to read these anyways:

*10 reps = 1 set

Bench press dumbbells: 
10 lbs x 4 sets
Bent arm pullovers:
10 lbs x 8 sets
One arm rows:
10 lbs x 10 sets (5 per arm)
Seated rows:
45 lbs x 4 sets
55 lbs x 4 sets
65 lbs x 4 sets
Lateral pulldown machine:
35 lbs x 4 sets
45 lbs x 2 sets
Step ups:
50 steps for 1 rep, 4 reps
Treadmill running:
Yesterday I did 53.1 calories in 4:30 minutes

My arms look disgustingly muscular when I flex them now. My arms are no longer petite, they're huge. It's finally spring so I need to start going out and run again however I'm sick currently and cannot.

When is my life going to end? Please, someone let me know so I can at least get to 85 before then. I'll be cutting all night after I finish work in the day time.

P.S. If anyone tries to put you on weight gaining medication, somehow find a way out of it. I currently am, this cannot continue any longer.

01 April 2013

Overall Full Body Thinspo

Decided that I didn't post enough overall body thinspo pictures so here are some photos with a sprinkle of other related thinspo pictures. I wish my legs would stop looking so fat in pictures else I would upload progress photos in the future. My collar bones are showing quite well though lately, I might upload a picture later of my collar bones.

I do not own any of these images and if you are the owner of an image and wish it to be taken down, please let me know via e-mail.

Beautiful. Nothing else to say.
Her rib cage makes me smile. She's in such nice shape compared to me
Her stomach is so cute! It's so small
Her legs.
Not a full body picture but those legs are just perfect. Oh gosh, I wish my fat didn't hang off of my body when I lay down like that.
I am so jealous of that gap right now. These stupid pills make me gain weight but I'm being watched as I take them.
Overall she's nice and toned!
Her arms are so nice!
Just absolutely gorgeous, what a stunner
Her collar bones are so adorable 
Why is she so tall and lean? I wish I could be tall and lean but instead I'm fat and short
I am so jealous of her body.
I just want to hug her so bad right now, she's so hot! 
Athletic body!