05 March 2013

Periods [expletive] suck

23.5". My weight I'm embarrassed about but I know most of it is just water.

This [expletive] sucks. I'm being forced to eat dinner for the past few days since SW started. My school ridiculously claimed that they worried for my safety and put a SW restriction on me. My entire family was notified and I was just sitting in an office horrified when they told me that.

Whatever. My family is already dropping most of the restrictions because they're too lazy.

I'm so bloated it's not even funny. My body looks ridiculously disgusting right now. My body refuses to let go of all the water that I have been drinking (I've been water fasting for several days, not a wise choice now that I see that my body is just holding onto the water due to bloating).

I remember the day I got my period back for the first time in 3 years (today is the 3 year anniversary, whoo hoo -sarcasm-). I was so mortified. It was embarrassing to have to ask a nurse (I was in the hospital during this time) for tampons. Not that I even could remember how to use one. I had to ask for pads after.

Fucking disgusting. Sorry for the language. I can't wait for it to go away again.

Well I feel and look disgusting. And I have to do my monthly measurement in 4 days. I definitely do NOT want to be higher than I was last month. If I'm still at 95.2 lbs or higher, I will shoot myself (just kidding, I'm not seriously, don't lock me up for [expletive] sake, I'm not crazy). I'm so angry at my body.

Please, be thinner, just even a pound thinner, body. I will temporarily feel a brief moment of peace. If not, well, who knows what will happen then.

Posting thinspo later in the day, I should rest for now.

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